WELLNESS
From our experience, a lot of people living with Cancer need a break from ‘illness’ and focusing instead on ‘wellness’, can reap many benefits. From the first moment the prospect of a Cancer diagnosis is mentioned it sadly has a nasty habit of also invading most of our thoughts too, with the focus being mainly on the ‘disease’ or as some believe ‘dis ease’!!! This is often very counter productive and whilst we cannot hope to tackle everything here, we thought it might be useful to list a few approaches which might be good to try.
Mindfulness
Mindfulness can help you take a step back, notice and observe the thoughts and feelings in your mind, rather than being caught up and struggling with them. On Islay & Jura a lot of us probably practice it without knowing it by it’s fancy name! From dog walking, literally counting sheep, to watching the waves and formations of Geese in the sky, these are all chances for your mind to check in with what is happening at that moment. A break from the endless and often fruitless cycle of our minds going into overdrive trying to fix or provide answers to the uncertain world of Cancer. Try and be more dog!
Managing Thoughts
The analogy of dealing with the ‘passengers’ (thoughts/emotions/physical sensations/urges) on the ‘bus of life’ as you try to steer it towards your values (your internal compass guiding your actions throughout life) can be useful for some.
We all know that if we get caught up with what our unwanted passengers are saying we could end up going in a different direction or not moving at all. Unfortunately, kicking them off the bus is not an option so finding a way to acknowledge your passengers, but manage them in a different way could be the key to your bus continuing in the right direction, for you.
There are a number of approaches to managing those thoughts and many a book dedicated to it, so you need to find the ones that work for you!
Examples include :-
- ‘Kick your buts’ & replace with ‘and’ E.g. “I’d like to go for a walk AND (not BUT) I’m tired”
- Putting your thoughts on leaves/clouds/other things that move E.g. acknowledge thought & imagine it floating on a leaf down a stream, on a cloud floating past or on a car on a road.
- ‘Dropping anchor’ dealing with the emotional storm by dropping your anchor, the storm continues but you are not being pushed around by it!
- ‘Thank you Mind’ – Taking the power out of a difficult thought by recognising our minds are just trying to protect us, so thanking them and then carrying on with whatever you need to do.
- Improving communication with others which could include focusing on your own feelings rather than appearing to assign blame to the other person which leads to defensiveness and ultimately closes down important conversations E.g. Instead of saying “You are being very dismissive by telling me that I am going to be fine”, try “When you tell me that I am going to be fine, it makes me feel that you are not understanding my situation”.
Moving Forward whilst living with Cancer
In the words of Calum McHale & Susan Clark who run the highly recommended free Beatson Charity Courses for Patients and who kindly agreed to allow us to use the information above :-
‘Living with Cancer is like driving our bus of life along a steep mountain road. It’s scary, unpredictable and takes a lot of effort. You will encounter bumps, potholes and difficult twists and turns along the way. Sometimes you might even have to travel in the opposite direction for a while or take a pit stop to refuel and recharge. It is a challenging journey that will test you and you might feel like it can be too much.
Remember that you are the driver of the bus and you are in control of this journey. It’s not about how quickly you reach your destination, it’s about the quality of your journey along the way’.
Click here for more information on the Beatson Charity Resources for Patients
Helpful Books Recommended by the Beatson Cancer Charity Courses
- Facing the Storm: Using CBT, Mindfulness and Acceptance to Build Resilience When Your World’s Falling Apart – Ray Owen
- Living Your Life with Cancer through Acceptance and Commitment Therapy – Anne Johnston, Claire Delduca & Reg Morris
- The Happiness Trap – Russ Harris
- The Compassionate Mind – Paul Gilbert
- Fierce Self-Compassion – Kristin Neff
- Mindfulness for Health: A Practical Guide to Relieving Pain, Reducing Stress and Restoring Wellbeing – Vidyamal Burch & Danny Penman
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Be kind to yourself
When going through the Cancer journey it can sometimes feel that it is only the Cancer being ‘treated’. Making sure the rest of you including mentally, spiritually as well as physically is arguably of equal, if not greater importance! If you can’t ‘treat’ yourself whilst going through what might be the worst time of your life, when can you!
Making yourself as strong as possible for the battles can only help and if this means addressing weaknesses such as deficiencies in your diet, mental health, general wellbeing or even just following the ‘Look Good, Feel Better’ mantra, just do it!
There are lots of self help books out there, many charities on the mainland set up just to provide this help to Cancer sufferers usually for free and we are going to try new Wellness Sessions to try and bring some of those benefits here to Islay. Keep an eye out for our event posters dotted around the villages, FB Posts on Islay & Jura’s Community Pages, here and on our Facebook page Cancer Support Group Islay Facebook Page
- Eat to Beat Disease – Dr William Li
- Everything you Need to Know to Help you Beat Cancer – Chris Woollams
- Glittering a Turd – Kris Hallenga